Stylish Baltimorean: Barry Levinson

Director Barry Levinson loves Baltimore, and Blogger Me loves his glasses.

His most fashionable movie was, of course, Diner, which you can read all about on this very blog. My favorite movie of his is Wag The Dog, but the last time I saw it, I was a teenager with  more than a couple political buttons pinned on my backpack. Maybe it's no longer good?

(source 1, 2, 3, 4)

Worth Buying Cheaply

There are many things in life worth spending good money on. A glitter iPhone case, for example.

There are other things that do not necessitate such riches. I am not a fashion designer, but I do watch What Not To Wear, and I know what kinds of clothes you should invest in and which ones are not worth your savings. (Unless you're me and your "savings" is $13, in which case, go for it.)

Here are a couple items you can afford to buy cheaply:

1. Pocket Squares: I can understand a lot of irrational things, but I can't understand actually shelling out mega bucks for a small piece of fabric. I swoon over a $$$$ pocket square as much as the next yuppie Pinterest addict blogger person (official science category of human), but I know that nobody with a basic working knowledge of how much things cost would actually spend upwards of $50 on a pocket square.

You can easily feign an imported silk Italian pocket flair by going over to Woodward's, buying a woman's neckerchief for $10, and stuffing it in your tweed jacket. Designers may laugh, but you'll be laughing yourself all the way to the next Restaurant Week in style, with money leftover to spend on bonus courses. I am talking Chocolate Pot de Creme.

The Chop had a moment of brilliance when I showed y'all a chambray pocket square from Hill-Side that would set you back 50 bones. Said he:

You can thrift a chambray shirt for $4.50 and have a dry cleaner make it into 5 handkerchiefs for much less than $50.

Then you can walk around with a hankie in one hand and a cocktail in the other, nose in the air talking about "My collection of bespoke handkerchiefs."

Touche, Sir Chop.

IStyleU

2. Trendy clothes from cheap stores: If I were a man, I would look a lot like Owen Wilson. Also, I would probably buy way too many geometric design t-shirts and corduroy blazers and skinny black ties and functionless wrist bands with states on them. You know what I mean? No, you don't, because you don't shop at trashy teen stores like I do.

But you know what? Maybe you should! That's right. Give H&M and Urban some of your love. Not all of it, mind you. You have standards!

But, $30 is a safe amount of money to spend on something trendy that you try twice or thrice before your girlfriend tells you "Please stop wearing that 'Navajo' hoodie," air quotes still lingering in the ambient ethers.

$120 for a straw fedora is crazy. $29.99 is understandable. Just don't let me see you wearing that with a tank top. I'm talking to you, Kevin Federline. (Disclaimer: To my knowledge, Kevin Federline does not read this blog.)

And if you're going to try out a military Michael Jackson jacket for your Les Miz audition, just make sure you got it on the cheap.

3. Glasses: I used to think that the more expensive glasses were, the better looking they were. I really believe this used to be true a few years ago! But, lucky for us blind bats, there are some great new companies out there who know that all we want is to look like a character from Mad Men in our glasses--is that so much to ask?! AND, they make it easy on our puny budgets. You really do not need to spend many dollars on glasses, especially if you break them as often as I do.

Oh Lookmatic, that optical darling of the blogosphere. Would you believe these two-toned suckers only cost $88??

I love, I adore Paris West on Charles St. I swear to thee, those geniuses changed my whole face. The glasses they picked out gave me a real live jaw line!! (I'm no Charlotte Gainsbourg with my specs on, let's not get carried away, but it's a fine improvement nonetheless.) But, that said, those glasses set me back a leeeeeeettle more than $88. I definitely could have gotten away with a cheaper pair from the internets.

Baltimore Band T-Shirts

For a while I stopped getting excited about band t-shirts because I realized I was over the age of 18. Now, I realize, how else do you expect me to represent my current city while visiting one of my erstwhile cities? It's either my Zeke's travel mug, or my Wye Oak t-shirt. It's the license plate for us car-less ones.

Here are a few Baltimore band t-shirts for the next time you want to rep:

Wye Oak

Animal Collective

Future Islands

Beach House

I know there are more Baltimore bands out there, but a lot of them don't have merch sites. How do you expect me to spread the word, bands? Social media?! T-shirts were the original Twitter. You can quote me on that.

Historical Hottie From Baltimore: W.E.B. DuBois

If we cannot be proud that W.E.B. DuBois, co-founder of NAACP, lived in Baltimore for 11 years, what can we be proud of? Berger Cookies?

(source 1, 2, 3, 4)

Do This Don't: Dark Colors + Black

At age 10, I asked my first earnest fashion question. I would not dress halfway decently until my 16th year of life when I finally got a clue, but in 5th grade I began to figure out that there were things that looked fine and things that looked dumb, and I didn't yet get which was which. To tell you the truth, it's still hard to know. Hence my outfit the other day. Sorry, onlookers.

The question went thus: I was wearing a brown floral skirt (remember floral dresses in the mid-90s? We thank you, Claire Danes) with black tights and black clogs (remember clogs in the mid-90s? We do not extend the same thanks to you, Sweden). I asked my mom, "You can't wear black with brown...right?"

To which my stylish Seattle mom answered, "Of course you can."

End of discussion.

An old-school rumor that is still going around is that one should not wear black with brown, black with navy, red with pink, or any two colors so bold and similar that they "clash." My working theory is that it looks unintentional, which is the key to bad style. Make it thoughtful, and make it work. Here are a few tips to head in this direction:

1. Mind your colors: A pale navy blazer from Kohl's over an old black shirt gives the appearance that you were unsuccessfully trying to match the two colors.

To avoid this giant catastrophe, you can either choose bold, rich shades (think chocolate as opposed to muddy brown, or midnight blue as opposed to navy--see Exhibit A below)

Stephen knows what's up.

Or two shades so different that they are unmistakably distinct. See Exhibit B below:

 Midwestyle

2. Keep it simple: Don't clutter a dark outfit with too many accessories, layers, or accent colors. It will lose its sophisticated luster if there is too much going on. A black/brown/blue combo should be clean, minimalistic, and bold.

Winner of the Tim Buckley Look-a-Like Contest from International Street Style

3. Accent wisely: White and red are two neutrals that will properly accent a black/brown/blue outfit. Also, I definitely have this guy's same boots. Weird that he shops at Ma Petite Shoe.

The Style Scout

Stylish Baltimorean: Penn Badgley

I was not really dying to feature the likes of this pompous dope on this extremely sophisticated blog, but he is from Baltimore, and he is fashionable, or at least has a decent stylist, so we are where we are.

 Sleepy Penn.

(source 1, 2, 3, 4)

Trend Thursdays: American Heritage

"Why hasn't this blog been updated in five days?" wondered no one. The answer is: I have been enormously busy, mostly watching videos of dogs on swings.

I begin this post with a short story:

We find our heroine walking down 36th Street in Hampden, as she is wont to do on Saturday afternoons. While she used to be vegan, she now has a semi-weekly craving for lunch at Baltimore Burger Bar, and bikes slash begs for a ride up to Mt. Vernon for to satisfy her beefly needs.

She and her favored gentleman, The Baltivore, walk past 16 Tons. Our heroine says/shouts, "We should go in there and buy you some stuff!!" It was not a well-thought-out shout, as both she and The Baltivore are currently unemployed. But it was shouted nonetheless.

The Baltivore responded, "I am too nervous to go in there. It's too fancy for me." To which Our Heroine scoffed. "No it's not!" scoffed she. "It's heritage goods. It's casual!"

To her surprise, The Baltivore replied, "What does heritage goods mean?" Our Heroine paused, taken aback by his question. Don't most men know what heritage goods are these days? Especially one who is dating the likes of me? she questioned tacitly. Then she remembered that he does not read this blog, nor does he ever accept her offers to read her old GQs or Esquires. She remembers this in a passive-aggressive manner.

Our Heroine replies, quite articulately, "You'd like heritage stuff." She adds, "It's just classic clothes. Like Ben Sherman. You like him, right?"

The Baltivore says, "Oh yeah, I love Ben Sherman." Ben Sherman is the only brand The Baltivore can name.

Then they eat burgers.

Fin!

Technically, a heritage brand is an iconic company that has been around forever--your dad wore it and his dad wore it and now hipsters wear it because it has a story and makes one feel like one is secluded in a cabin in Wisconsin. There's an appeal there. Examples are: L.L. Bean, J. Press, Carhartt. You got it.

There is also a crop of "new heritage" brands, also focused on classic designs. With their audacious Since 2007 labels, they already seem reliable. Maybe because they sell axes along with suits. Hill-Side is a perfect example. It is made in America, for one thing. More specifically, Brooklyn, which is of course spelled "Bkln" on their website, just in case Brooklyn wasn't annoying enough.

(Produce has paved the way for clothing the past couple years: local is better.)

It should be noted that the models on the Hill-Side site are a far cry from the androgynous Ken dolls employed by high fashion designers. This is also a heritage brand trademark. The models are old men, make-up-less women, and guys who look like they're on Rumspringa. It's all part of the trend of returning to well-made classic clothes that are popular for their quality, not their ad campaigns.

This is all very well and good. Men look great in Americana heritage clothes, and it's comforting that independent local designers are becoming and staying popular. However, it is dumb that chambray shirts are getting so expensive, and that a plaid button-down flannel shirt can set you back hundreds of dollars. It's like those restaurants that sell s'mores for $9. Don't get me wrong, I am the biggest sucker for Woodberry Kitchen that has ever lived, but I see the irony in marked-up food served with gingham napkins in a barn-like structure.

Whatever, it is sooo not beneath me to spend $16 on a whiskey lemonade.

Where was I going with this? Ah yes! A couple heritage brands I like these days Sorry about the prices. I do not sell these clothes, friends.

Jack Spade: I just bought an iPhone case from this company.

It wouldn't be a heritage goods store without a $95 plaid tie.

Billykirk: Handmade in Pennsylvania by Amish leather workers (if that doesn't give these wallets hipster cred, not sure what does), they  make beautiful, simple leather goods that will last you longer than the average lifespan of an H&M designer.

Penfield: Oh Penfield. Truly the Woodberry Kitchen of the menswear world, this Massachusetts brand established in '75 is some serious classic Americana. The denim/flannel trail shirt is precious, yes, but, hot damn!--it sure does look good with chinos.

I feel like every single picture I post looks like the following two.